🚨 LIVE FROM LA 🚨Yup, it’s ya boy Bruce—part excavator, part fashion icon, full-time beach beautifier.Today I swapped my bucket for a rake, slapped on my sun hat mode, and hit the sand like it owed me money. 💸🦀
👷♂️ SCENE REPORT:
🧃 Pulled 14 soda cans, 6 flip flops, and one confused crab from the shoreline
🍟 Cleared what I think was a 2003 french fry fossil
🌴 Accidentally raked around a yoga class—apologized with finger guns and a beach dance
👒 Was offered sunscreen. Politely declined (I’m powder-coated, baby)
🎶 My playlist? “Lo-Fi Chill & Leaf Blower Vibes”🔥 My fuel? Coconut-scented diesel (patent pending)🧼 My vibe? Clean. Classy. Compostable.
“Not all heroes wear capes—some wear safety vests and rake bottle caps from the tide.”– Bruce, Beachfront Legend